October 21, 2013
In August 2013, five clients along with some of our Adjunctive Therapies Staff attended the Spiritual Retreat in Ellijay, Georgia, at the home of Lisa & Vincent West. The theme throughout the retreat was to “Find the poet within,” and clients were encouraged to write and discuss poetry. Below is a poem by Kathryn H., a current client who attended the Spiritual Retreat.
As close to me as my own breath, the weight of worthlessness has darkened my days without hope. Caged like Maya Angelou’s bird. Right now I can’t feel God in my usual ways, but I am cradled by the water. The endless roof top of strong trees, the majesty of the mountains. I can’t hear God right now but I can feel her whispering that I am worthwhile.
Worthwhile as meant to be as every flower, every insect, every beautiful angel that I am deeply blessed to have teach me. All the time I tell myself, I plead with myself to be worthy of life. The grace of retreat has dived into my heart as I feel fully alive. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I yearn to believe this as parts of my broken heart heal. I am capable. I am loved as the warmth of Jenny’s touch, the love of Esme’s voice, the strength in John, the loving honesty of Michael, the grace of Libba, the unwavering warmth of Ayo.
I can be loved as my birthright. The past hangs on like leeches haunting me with hate but I have kind hands pulling me up. Patient hands – hands that have hope for me as much as I want to hope for myself. This wholeness I will never forget. This time of letting go. God loves me so much that she is taking the pain and transforming me into a person I can learn to like.
Cradled by nature’s acceptance, I can start to believe that I am loved. Shaded by the trees, serenaded by the animals, soft gentle words of angels on earth. If all this blanket of beauty can free me with love. I can believe it. I can start to believe the untainted love of six beautiful souls. I got to taste heaven on earth. My cage has been opened. Now I can muster the courage to fly away.