Victoria

Hey everyone,

I used to apologize for taking up space. Then I shrank until I could not breathe. Now I take the room I need without flinching. I know this is a long graduation ceremony, but each of us has earned this chance to share our thoughts with you all, so I will not be apologizing for taking up time and space here. With that said, I know we are all at different points in our mental health journeys, which are as lengthy as the impact that our life has on those around us.

I’ve been collecting quotes from an affirmation app since I got my phone back after my start at residential. In my running list, there are quotes that applied at different times of this journey for me that I’d like to share. Wherever you are, however long you’ve been working with your mental health, I hope you find something here to tether you to hope.

My two quotes for myself as I came to Skyland are:

“This is not how I want to live for the rest of my life.” And I meant it.

“I am proud of me.”

I am tired today. I am unsure today. And I am still showing up today, which is the only thing that has ever moved me forward. After a point of adjustment being in a residential treatment facility, I began to look back to help me move forward.

My two quotes for this point in treatment are:

“I am healing wounds I did not cause because I refuse to pass them on to my loved ones.”

“It is okay to mourn the version of me that tried so hard for people who never noticed.”

Once I really got into all that trauma and pain, I came to a crossroads between really giving this program a chance or continuing to mask through my 90 days. These next two quotes anchored me during some of the hardest points of treatment. I am both a work in progress and someone who deserves love right now, unfinished. I am resilient and adaptable, embracing each challenge as a chance to grow stronger and building a life that does not require me to pretend.

So finally, I am at the stage of graduation from Skyland Trail. In just a few days I’ll be on my way back to my home in Ohio. I will surely be missing all of the wonderful friends I’ve made here, as well as the incredible staff. You have all made this experience helpful and tolerable, which is exactly what it is meant to be. Because for each and every person here, our greatest moments are still ahead of us. More work is left to do, more ridiculous moments, and more feeling my feelings (gross). But I’m moving forward knowing that the world needs exactly who I am, not a smaller or quieter version. And as I go on, I am proof that the kid in me was right to keep hoping.

So my final quotes to share with you all are about my future, and yours too, should you choose it:

I am the one I have been waiting for and I finally showed up.

My becoming is on purpose.

I am scared of what comes next. I am doing it anyway. Both of those things are true.

And finally,

What if it all works out?