Supporting Fathers: Strategies for Connection, Structure, and Emotional Resilience
As we celebrate Father’s Day, we recognize the unique and vital role that fathers and father figures play in nurturing the emotional and developmental health of children and adolescents. At Skyland Trail, family involvement is a core component of our treatment model, and we understand that fatherhood, like all aspects of parenting, is a journey.
Learn from Skyland Trail family therapist Brandon Baird, LCSW, MPH, on how fathers can build stronger, healthier relationships with their children by leading with validation, emotional presence, and self-awareness.
The Importance of Validation
“Validation is the foundation,” Brandon shared when asked about the most essential advice he offers to fathers. While the concept may seem simple, true validation is often misunderstood. Phrases like “I’m sorry you feel that way” may be intended to offer empathy, but can come across as dismissive.
“Validation isn’t about agreeing with a child’s perspective,” he explained. “It’s about acknowledging their feelings—saying, ‘I understand why you might feel that way,’ or ‘That makes sense to me.’ It helps young people to feel seen and heard, which is critical for building trust.”
At Skyland Trail, therapists often work with parents to identify patterns of unintentional invalidation and replace them with more effective, supportive communication strategies.
Balancing Emotional Presence and Structure
For many fathers, striking the right balance between being emotionally available and maintaining clear boundaries can feel difficult. Brandon emphasizes that both are essential. “Adolescents are still learning what it means to be successful and how to navigate challenges. Fathers can support that growth by setting reasonable expectations—while also giving space for emotional reactions.”
Rather than trying to fix or suppress uncomfortable emotions, he encourages fathers to remain calm and consistent: “Allow your child to feel angry or upset without rescuing them from those feelings. Structure doesn’t mean emotional disconnection. In fact, it’s an opportunity to model emotional regulation.”
Redefining the Role of Father
Brandon notes that some fathers—particularly in heteronormative households—fall into the pattern of acting as the “backup parent,” stepping in primarily when the other caregiver has exhausted all options. While sometimes unintentional, this dynamic can create an imbalance in parenting responsibilities.
“Fathers should be equally involved in all aspects of parenting—not just discipline,” he said. “Showing up consistently, participating in day-to-day routines, and sharing emotional labor helps children develop a more secure and balanced relationship with both parents.”
Skills for Navigating Challenges
In therapeutic work with families, Brandon teaches practical tools to support more effective parenting:
- Stay calm during conflict: “Children take cues from their caregivers. If a father escalates, the child likely will too. Maintaining composure helps de-escalate tense moments.”
- Avoid personalizing reactions: “Teens may say hurtful things in the heat of the moment. Parents should recognize these as expressions of distress rather than personal attacks.”
- Model the behavior you want to see: “Demonstrate communication, patience, and reflection. Kids are always watching.”
These strategies are particularly important when working with adolescents experiencing mental health challenges, as consistent modeling can support the development of healthy coping mechanisms.
Offering and Receiving Appreciation
Father’s Day can be an opportunity to reflect on how we show appreciation. Brandon notes that expressions of gratitude don’t need to be elaborate to be meaningful. “It could be a letter, a kind word, or spending quality time together. What matters is the thought and the connection.”
He also reminds fathers of the emotional benefit of being appreciated. “It feels good to be recognized. That emotional boost can help fathers stay motivated and engaged.”
Rebuilding Strained Relationships
For those looking to improve a difficult relationship with a father or father figure, Brandon recommends starting small. “Begin with a conversation, a shared activity, or a short visit. Don’t expect transformation overnight, and understand that not every relationship will come with an apology or closure.”
He adds that setting healthy boundaries is just as important as extending grace. “If someone continues to behave in ways that cause harm, and you choose to stay in the relationship, that becomes your responsibility to navigate.”
A Lifelong Journey
Brandon closed with a reminder that fatherhood, like mental health, is not static. “There’s no rulebook. Each child is different, and so is each parent. The key is to keep learning and growing.”
At Skyland Trail, we’re proud to support families and caregivers through every step of the treatment process. We celebrate the dedication of fathers—biological, chosen, and honorary—who show up every day with the willingness to listen, learn, and lead with love.
Happy Father’s Day from all of us at Skyland Trail.